Flashback Friday {Halloween}

The ghosts of Halloween past…

Here is Allison dressed as a low-budget fairy last year.  I think I put together the costume for about $10.  And that was only because she needed leggings and a sparkly long-sleeved shirt since it was cold that night. I also think this might have been the last time she let me do her hair in pigtails.  *sigh*

We actually had a hand-me down chili pepper costume for Allison’s first Halloween, but when I saw this giraffe costume on Craigslist for $12, I. Had. To. Have. It.  After her stay in the giraffe ward of the NICU, that creature will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Okay, so this isn’t a picture of Halloween costumes.  But this is from Halloween 2008, which will forever be known as the year our basement was transformed into a BMX track while replacing ALL of the plumbing in our house.  Let’s just say we weren’t really into dressing up.

2007 was the Haunted Housewarming.  We were Morticia and Gomez Addams.  It was probably our best party ever.  Except that my back up of the photos aren’t loading, so I can’t show you the awesome costumes that people wore.  Good thing I’ve been hoarding that old desktop that has the original files.  See?  Hoarding saves lives.  Because I might shoot myself if I realized I lost several years of pictures.

Then there was 2006….  I can’t actually believe that I am posting this.  I think you can figure out what we were dressed as.  This was obviously before I became the conservatively modest mom that I am today.  Thank God my mother doesn’t read this blog.

That’s as far back as my pictures go, folks.  Probably for the best.  Because the first Halloween party was a real horror.  I left my costume til the last-minute and it ended up being a trashy train wreck.  Good times.

Remorse

Yesterday I got an email pitch for an affiliate program.  In an effort to be more personal, the author of the email mentioned a recent post that had made her laugh.

First, I’m not so sure what is funny about a sewage back up in your house.  And my psychotic cat?  I guess I can understand why someone might assume that was funny.  I mean people spend hours on the internet watching cats do crazy shit, right?  But this incident was not funny.  Ridiculous, yes.  Funny, definitely not.

But her simple uninformed remark brought back all the sadness, guilt, and anger that I’ve been trying to ignore the last two weeks.

I have gone back and forth about even telling anyone.  I haven’t even told many of my close friends.  Because I didn’t want to say the words, “I killed my cat.”

I have tried my best to rationalize my actions.  Telling myself it wasn’t safe to have such an unstable animal around a toddler.  That it was “for the best.”  That life would be easier without her.

But I don’t believe it.

Malibu was wonderful with Allison.  And while she wasn’t particularly affectionate unless she needed something, she seemed to know when we needed her.

She was with me when I was constantly sick throughout my pregnancy.  She would come running when Allison was upset.  She even seemed worried when Denver got so very, very sick last year.

We don’t know what set her off this time.  She just hissed at the dog for no apparent reason.  But we had been down that road once before and we knew that her rage wasn’t fleeting.  We knew we had to intervene before she lost it. 

I know we could’ve handled the situation better.  That maybe she would have calmed down if we had just let her be.  But this time we had a little person in the house that we had to worry about.  And there was no way to predict the course of Malibu’s fury.

Even the next day, she was still angry.  Maybe it was because we had had to catch her with towels and brooms to lock her up.  Maybe it was because she was trapped in a kennel all night.  Maybe it was because she was still bitter at Denver for what she thought he did.  But the thought of further complicating our lives scared the hell out of me.  I didn’t think I could deal with more problems.

We had drawn the line in the sand many times with this cat.  Countless times I had said, “I swear, if she pees on ____ again, she’s gone.”  I had joked that if I was lucky, she would run away.  I had told myself for six years that I didn’t care.  But time and time again, we dismissed her indiscretions.  We cleaned up the mess and moved on.  Because we knew no one else would want her.

And now the time had come when we felt we couldn’t keep her.

I feel like I gave up on her.  That I should’ve done more to help her. 

But it’s too late now.

All Grown Up

When did my 2 1/2 year old start looking like a preteen?

I am so not ready for that.

Flashback Friday {PTSD}

Nearly 3 years ago, we built a dirt bike race track in our basement.  Not intentionally, of course.  Our main plumbing stack had to be replaced because it was old and barnacley and leaking.  And that began the hunt for solid pipe.

After 7 days without running water (while 3 months pregnant), over 30 feet of digging up concrete, and a back hoe tearing up our front yard, we finally had brand new PVC plumbing.

We’d never have plumbing problems again!  But I was wrong.  Really, wrong.

Released from Memory Card Pergatory

I’m lazy, so while I love to shoot with my Canon Rebel, I most often end up using my Blackberry.  Problem is that it takes pretty awful pictures. 

Not that taking photos of a moving toddler ever ends well…  But I hate bad photos.

But memories are memories and here are a few that I wanted to share. 

I wanna helpa you!

A future scientist?

Or maybe a violinist?  I could die from the cuteness.

My sweet girl….